Start shining.
It is a waste of time for me to compare myself in any way to anyone else. My path is different from any other person on the earth and so is yours. We are happiest when we are in our sweet spot, doing our own thing in the best way we possibly can. I am different. I am okay that I am unique. It is safe for me to be myself and start shining.
Choosing happiness.
Aaak!!! The pressure is mounting for the upcoming week and month. My calendar is full, just like yours. I have a plethora of new ideas to implement and I am ready to do it all. I am creating great things and I am excited but I admit that I could stress out if I give in to the nagging feeling underneath all my big dreams. So what will I choose? Do I choose to be stressed out or do I choose to just accept what I am able to do as my personal best at this time? Do I allow the stress to win out and stay in bed? Or do I get up and play the game and see how it goes? Each day, I get to choose what voice I feed.
The important thing to remember is that very few things that stress us out truly matter. Most of what we worry about will pass by and won’t be remembered next month or next year. We will forget that we spent one particular day fearing and procrastinating. Very few things in life actually end up being detrimental unless we choose to let it have that effect.
You might thing this is easier said than done or that I am taking a Pollyanna view of life. Maybe I am and maybe it is a bit hard, but I will tell you from personal experience that it is ultimately easier to choose peace and happiness than any other alternative. And so what if it is hard? That which we consistently do becomes easier, so make the right choice and choose happiness. Choose how you feel about the stress in your life. It is not stress unless you call it that, so do not give your power away. Take control and choose what you experience and watch your world change. Let me know how it goes!
The hottest date I ever went on…
It all started with the right outfit…or did it?
Truthfully, the best date I ever went on was with my husband a few months after we had our first baby. New outfit hiding the post-baby pooch? Check. Reservations at the Boom-Boom Room for a sweet Italian dinner? Check. Babysitter? Check. All of the pieces were in place for the perfect date. And it is still a very memorable date, more than six years later.
I remember that date was the first time I wore heels with jeans and I remember the cool high tables at the restaurant. I remember enjoying Justin and our uninterrupted conversation. I remember carrying a REAL purse and not a diaper bag. But those details have nothing to do with why it was such a fantastic date. That date was great because of stuff on the inside. Something had clicked inside me and I had given myself permission to have the best date ever. I gave myself permission to completely enjoy the experience. I told myself that I deserved to have a great time, and then I did. I have enjoyed many HOT dates since I discovered my own power to have a great time. It was no longer about the right outfit or the right reservation. It was all about my heart and how I treated myself.
It is a funny thing that what we experience is completely influenced by what we condition ourselves to believe. So many of us are creating what we don’t want and that is such a waste of our powerful minds. Stop and ask yourself, “What do I really want? What do I deserve? What will I create?” Condition your mind to only think about the things you REALLY want and watch those experiences flow to you. Whether your schedule includes a hot date, a quiet weekend with the kiddos at home, or a jam-packed weekend with tasks to complete and events to attend, I hope you have the best weekend ever! DECIDE NOW what you will experience and then go make it so.
All my best! Ashlee
PS….If you do have a favorite pair of heels, find a way to wear them this weekend too! 
Perfect Solutions.
For every problem under the sun, there is a perfect solution that Heaven has already created and lined up. No matter where we might find ourselves, a solution to our stress and woes will manifest itself. Sometimes when we are in the thick of a situation it is challenging to see the ultimate outcome, and it can be hard to keep the faith and KNOW “it will all work out.” I know I have been guilty of only accepting solutions that fit my stubborn point of view. I wonder if we might struggle longer than necessary because we are not fully open to whatever answer Heavenly Father presents.
I am a mom that is adamant about 7 PM bedtime. My children have gone to bed at 7 for years. Over the last year, we have experienced a Boomerang problem. You know how that works, right? We put the kids to bed, they bounce back out to tell us something, to use the facilities, to whatever. We had a problem, but the bedtime was a non-negotiable item for me. I was not going to budge on the bedtime because I put in long days and I know children need adequate sleep in order to be their best selves. I tried rewards, I tried bribes, I tried threats, yet I still had my little Boomerangs popping their heads out of their room. If they did happen to stay in bed, a wrestling match might take place. The noise would escaclate and I would still have to go be the parent. One of the major points of an early bedtime is to allow me some time-off from my most important role! Even though my kids were always in bed with the lights out by 7, more often than not they were either teasing each other or coming out to find me. Clearly, we needed a new plan because the old one was not working.
Last week I found myself at home to do the bedtime routine without my husband’s help. I was bone tired and had NO patience for the bedtime shenanigans. I told my young sons that if they would get ready for bed fast and not have any problems doing the routine, the next night I would leave the light on so they could read for ten minutes. My bribe worked and has been the magic answer for the last week. No more boomerang game, no more teasing, no more noise. The solution was so simple and yet so perfect. If I had simply been open to leaving the light on for them, I could have experienced peace in my home at night so much sooner! Be open, listen to Heaven’s voice and find the solutions you need to bring peace to your life and home. Always remember that He knew you would have a problem and He has already prepared the resources and answers you need to create the optimal resolutions.
Curiosity and Anger.
When a problem strikes, you can only control what you can control. You can’t choose how others behave, only how you will react. Sometimes it is challenging to understand where others might be coming from. It is hard to fathom others actions because we would never behave in the same way. Rather than reacting and becoming upset when others upset us, we can instead become curious. Be curious about why they are behaving in such a negative way. Be curious about how you can avoid similar outcomes in the future. Be curious about what facts they might be dealing with that lead to these circumstances. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it won’t kill you! In fact, it may end up saving a relationship. Be curious and offer love in your relationships!
Get moving!
You have dreams and ideas that are ready to be shared. Your sister, brother, friend, neighbor or random Facebook acquaintance needs you to open up and give the answers you have found. There is purpose in the lessons you have learned and you can end the struggle they face. In fact, you know you were born to lead out and help others. You know you have a message that is itching to come forth. You have helped others and know what you know works to bring big changes to this world. And yet, something holds you back. Why do you not invite others to join you? What are you afraid of? What holds you back?
The time is NOW to speak up. The time is NOW to provide a chance for others to learn and grow. The time is NOW for you to produce your class, your program, your book, whatever it is. The time is NOW to create big things. So quit doubting and quit making excuses. It does not matter if you are not ready. The fact that you have the idea is enough for you to move forward with what you have today. The seed has been planted and it is now time to fertilize your seed with positive actions and thoughts. So get moving. Start walking, one step at a time until you are running and then finally flying. The time is NOW!!!
You Build on Failure.
Just because you have a bad day or just because your child had record-breaking all around rotten day, you are not a failure. One of the quickest ways to feel down about yourself is to concur with your adversary that you are failing in any one area of your life. I have noticed that it is all too common for women to feel like they are failing at motherhood. What a cruel joke. Just because a day fails to please you and does not meet your own standard, does not mean that YOU are a failure. Please stop giving in to the lies the adversary sends your way.
“Failure” does not exist unless you allow it to be part of your world. Refuse to be defined by outcomes and momentary setbacks. Recognize that you can take any moment and learn from it and then your previous “failures” will become something that provided knowledge that pushed you forward toward your goals. It is good to discover the way not to do something and it is great that we get to try a new approach tomorrow. Own your own power and feel gratitude that you can try again tomorrow. As Johnny Cash said:
Out with failure and in with gratitude and positive thoughts! |
So you had a bad day…
I have been operating on an average of five (5!) hours of sleep for the last several months. Despite every effort, our newest baby continues to wake up in the night. I have changed my prayers from “please help her to sleep through the night” to “please help me to endure and still be a good mom with such little sleep.” I am trying to surrender and just learn whatever I can while I am in this season. That said, the lack of sleep does impact my physical energy, and, at times, my patience. I also find it harder to be productive and to stay focused and on purpose. It is challenging to be motivated to do everything when one is so tired!
Today I just wanted to stay in bed. I could hardly force my eyes open but willed myself out of bed to go take care of my children. They deserve my best and I want to give it to them. However, by lunchtime I really just wanted to give in to my fatigue and call it a TV day. I was tired, my house was a mess, I felt unproductive and Josie-grossie, and every noise made in my house sounded like the dreaded nails on a chalkboard. My nerves were shot and I had fallen into a hole of negativity.
I knew I could just let my children watch TV all afternoon and get a bit of rest. I knew they would be occupied and safe and I was tempted to give in to the urge. However, I don’t want my kids to be couch potatoes. I don’t want them to remember mom just laying in bed. I want to teach them to work and play. I want to be in their midst showing them how to love life, how to treat one another, and how to be happy. I can’t do those things if I am in bed! And don’t get me wrong, there are times where the best decision for the entire family is for momma to get some sleep! But today, I decided to just try. I determined to give myself fifteen minutes. I decided I am the one that calls the shots around here. I decide if each day is good or bad, and I have the power to impact the success of my day. I can have a less than desirable morning and still save the day by making conscious choices to participate in our family life in positive ways! I can choose to smile through it and focus on gratitude instead of wallowing in my fatigue. So with fifteen minutes on the clock, I left my bedroom to face the music. I asked my children to help me and we picked up the messes. We cleaned the kitchen and the family room and started a load of laundry. I cut some fruit up to serve as a snack and I began doing energy work to shift my attitude and chase out the effects of sleepless nights. And you know what? Fifteen minutes was enough to change my bad day into a good day. I was able to reengage in my life. It was a simple choice and resulted in simple actions, but it was enough!
Getting busy for fifteen minutes may not be the answer every time, but it made all the difference for today’s set of problems. I didn’t climb any mountains or set any records, but I did enough of what needed to be done. I was able to be pleasant with my children and accomplish a few tasks that help keep our home happy. And for today, that is enough. Should you find yourself wanting to quit midway through a bad day, give yourself fifteen minutes and see if the landscape does not change! Whatever it takes, you deserve a great day and you have the power to make it so.
